Ask-it-basket questions – AWSCM 2010

 

  1. What do we do when a member shares for an over long time at a meeting?  Does the chairman or another member interrupt, or do we let it go?

 

Answer: “Each group is autonomous”. It would be helpful to have a discussion as a group on how to handle this situation.  This way, the chair of the meeting knows that the members will support any decision he/she makes during the meeting.  A reminder that some groups use is “Please keep your sharing to 3 or 4 minutes so other members also have the opportunity to share. If something is troubling you, please talk to someone before you go home.” If a person shares for an overly long time on a regular basis, group members or a sponsor may talk to the person after the meeting to explain the importance of allowing time for others to share. If the member is a dual member, the pamphlet “Al-Anon spoken here” can be offered.  Groups may decide to have a topic meeting where “mutual aid”, “Tradition One” or “Al-Anon spoken here” can be the topic.  Some of our books have readings that directly address this issue.  For example, “How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics” has a reading on page 109 that could be helpful.  Studying the traditions in meetings can also be a helpful guide to group members.  This is a common problem and with some preparation can be handled with compassion and care.

 

  1. Please update us on “institutional” meetings

 

Answer: This question has been referred to your Public Outreach Coordinator.  Watch for the answer in the Area 81 Bulletin next month.  In the meantime, check out pages 78 and 143 in your service manual.  If members have any experience with this, please share with us through the Area 81 Bulletin or your Public Outreach Coordinator, Lois at outreach.afg@shaw.ca

 

  1. Bill and Lois said anonymity is a sacred trust.  When a meeting directory has an office phone number and an answering service for messages, should there be personal phone numbers attached to meetings with no addresses because they meet in a variety of private homes?  Previously a caller’s phone number was given to the group’s contact for them to call the enquirer.  This protected both parties.  The decision to keep the personal numbers on the public directory was because the home group contacts wanted their numbers on the directory.  Does this not violate some or all of our Traditions?

 

Answer: Anonymity is addressed in a number of our books, particularly those sections referring to Traditions 11 and 12.  There appears to be two issues here:

    1. The use of telephone numbers: Al-Anon Information Services (AIS) office numbers are listed in telephone books in Vancouver, Kelowna and Victoria.  This gives people a way to contact Al-Anon to get more information.  In an ideal world, it would be best to avoid giving out personal phone numbers when AIS numbers are available.  When AIS has a request for a 12 step call, the preferred method is to take their phone number and have the Al-Anon member call the person. The reality is that this is not always possible.  For example when calls come in “after hours” at the AIS offices, local phone numbers are added to the recording so that a number is available to those in distress. In those cases, members decide for themselves how friends and families of alcoholics can gain access to their phone number. With new technology such as call forward and call block, members and AIS offices may consider other ways to control the use of personal phone numbers.

 

In smaller communities, there are no dedicated Al-Anon telephone numbers.  Members use their personal numbers in Public Outreach tools to ensure friends and families can easily contact Al-Anon for the help they need.  Al-Anon suggests that personal phone numbers not be published in the phone book as “Al-Anon”.  For other publications, each person is free to decide the degree of anonymity they choose. (service manual pg 83). 

 

    1. Anonymity in practice: In the book “Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions” (pg 132) it says “…there are members who misinterpret this Tradition and keep their association with Al-Anon so secret that they never use an opportunity to share its help with someone in need.” The purpose of anonymity at the level of press, TV, films and internet is to ensure no individual represents Al-Anon.  However, we need to ensure that Al-Anon/Alateen is accessible and that Al-Anon remains visible in our communities.  Readings on this are available on pages 229-230 and 236 in the book “Paths to Recovery”.